Adolescent

“When a child turns 12, he should be kept in a barrel and fed through the bung hole, until he reaches 16…at which time you plug the bung hole.” Mark Twain

The word “teenager” seems to cause adults anxiety. The idea of placing a teen in a barrel

may be appealing and even a fair solution to protect the youngster and their parents from crisis

and danger. Unfortunately this is not possible, and therefore it would be more productive to look

at the positive side of being an adolescent and the contribution they make to society during their

years of developing and reaching maturation.

There are many studies that tried to explain an adolescent’s behavior. Freud saw

adolescence as an expression of torturous psychosexual conflict and Erikson saw it as the most

tumultuous of life’s several identity crises (Dobbs, 2011). Later on, researchers focused in the

adolescent’s brain development. During adolescence the brain goes through a process of

maturation that is characterized by the emergence of executive function mediated by the

prefrontal cortex, e.g., goal planning, inhibition of impulsive behavior and set shifting. Synaptic

pruning of excitatory contacts is the signature morphologic event of late brain maturation during

adolescence (Selemon, 2013).

Adolescence is viewed as a period of preparation for adulthood. During adolescence,

young people reach physical maturity, develop a more sophisticated understanding of roles and

relationships, and acquire skills needed for performing adult work and family roles.

The developmental task of this period –coping with physical changes and emerging

sexuality, developing interpersonal skills, acquiring education and training for adult work roles,

becoming emotional and behavioral autonomous, resolving identity issues, and acquiring a set

of values- are all tied to successful functioning in adulthood (Crokett & Crouter, 2014). The idea to keep the adolescents in a barrel doesn’t seem that extreme when considering all the changes this population has to face in order to become a successful adult.

Moreover, the choices adolescents make about peer relations, risky behavior, investment

in school, and income-producing activity set the stage for subsequent development in later

adolescence and into adulthood. Keeping the youngster in a barrel, in complete isolation would

result in mental illness and would affect their psychosocial development. The adolescent needs to

interact with his/her environment in order to develop into the next stage (Crokett & Crouter,

2014).

There are different environmental factors, including the neighborhood, the school,

the family, and community, all of which are key to social context and impact the development of

the adolescent, providing opportunities or barriers to choose certain paths rather than others.

An important part of the adolescent development is her or his social interaction, especially their

relationship with peers. In order to conquer the next developmental stage, the adolescent needs to explore and participate in the different social contexts the environment offers (Lerner &

Steinberg, 2009).

Furthermore, another aspect that has received a lot of attention regarding adolescent

development is the relationship to their parents. Adolescent maturation threatens parental

dominance resulting in heightened conflict with and diminished closeness to parents. Even

though the adolescent seems to separate from them they come back for reassurance. This is

known as a second separation-individuation process (Kroger, 1988). Attachment in adolescence

is distinctive from attachment in earlier relationships, both behaviorally and cognitively. 

Strong emotional ties to parents may be indicated in subtle and private ways, including friendly teasing and small acts of concern, as well as in more obvious connections such as shared activities and self-disclosure (Lerner & Steinberg, 2009). The functions of attachment relationships for adolescents, however, are parallel to those for young children. In both cases, parents serve as a secure base for exploring the environment.

In summary, in thinking about the pathway through adolescence, we must be mindful that

an individual’s path through adolescence and into adulthood depend on the history of interaction

between person and the environment occurring both in everyday life and at critical turning points

(Crokett & Crouter, 2014). Therefore, it is crucial that the adolescent remains “free” in order to

explore, take risk, relate to others, empower his/her peers, create new ideas and contribute to

society. Parent emotional support and guidance is fundamental in this period of life. 

References

Crokett, L. J. & Crouter, A. C. (2014). Pathways through adolescence: Individual Development

in Relation to Social Contexts. L. Erlbaum.

Dobbs, D. (2011, October 20). Beautiful brains. National Geographic. Retrieved from:

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/print/2011/10/teenage-brain/dobbs-text

Kroger, J. (1989). Adolescent as a second separation-individuation process. Critical review of an

object relation approach. Retrieved from: https://books.google.com

Lerner & Steinberg (2009). Handbook of adolescent psychology. Third Edition. Volume2:

Contextual Influences on Adolescent Development

Selemon, L. D. (2013). A role for synaptic plasticity in the adolescent development of executive

function. Retrieved from: http://www.nature.com/tp/journal/v3/n3/abs/tp20137a.html.

Think for a few minutes about how you learned about sex, sexuality, gender and puberty. In what ways would you want your child’s experience learning about these topics to be similar to your own experience? In what ways would you want it to be different?

Parents always ask: "When I should start talking to my kids about sex?

Between toddlerhood and young adulthood there is a lot of important information our children need to learn about their bodies, gender, sexuality and sex. Although using an age-by-age approach is an organized way for us to look at how to educate your child about these topics, keep in mind that all children learn differently and may be ready to take-in sensitive information at different rates. Children with special needs, learning disabilities and developmental delays are sometimes left out of the sex education equation. All children, regardless of ability, need to be educated about these topics. It is important to make any adjustments that work best

for your child and for your family. 

The best approach is a series of conversations over time, addressing age appropriate topics and questions as your child grows. It is also important to talk about consent. The child should know that she has control over her body. Also, the child has the right to consent to affection. The younger kids are when they learn about how babies are made and the mechanics of sex, the less embarrassed they feel. 

Kids develop a sense of gender by age two or three. For most kids, birth sex and gender identity match. This population is referred to as being cisgender. In some cases, though, children’s gender identity—how they feel about themselves—differs from their biology. Some kids know their gender identities and birth sexes don’t match almost as soon as they begin to talk.

When kids are little we teach them about all of their body parts, and even sing songs like “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” to help them learn. When it comes to teaching kids about their genitals and using words like penis, scrotum, vagina and vulva, many parents become uncomfortable, and come up with nicknames for these body parts. It is important to teach and use the correct words for your child’s “private parts” such as penis, testicles and vagina. It can get confusing for some kids to introduce scrotum and vulva at this age, but start using penis and vagina, and avoid nicknames.

Some kids never ask questions about sex and reproduction, and as parents, you will decide if you

want to introduce these topics or wait for questions from your child. While it’s fine to wait until your child is older to talk about sex and reproduction, you want to make sure your child doesn’t get misinformation from other kids.

Between 8 and 10, many kids are hearing both factually correct and misinformation from their friends at school about sex. They are also more involved in technological use, and may

be using the internet and YouTube more often than ever before.  Your child, at this age, may be more interested in the fact that people have sex for reasons other than making babies. 

This is the time to talk about sex in relationships as a way to show love, affection, and share your body with another person. Explain that sex is about more than making babies. Talk about sex and respect. Talk about your values when it comes to sex. 

If you’re seeing some of the early signs of puberty in your child, he or she may be starting to have some sexual thoughts and feelings and feelings of attraction. At this stage, kids can begin to understand why sex (and other intimate behaviors like kissing and touching) happen for reasons other than to make babies. Now is the time to start the process of talking with your child about puberty. Depending on your child’s interest in the topic and his or her personal physical development, some kids are ready to start having this conversation closer to age 9, and some closer to age 10.

The average girl sees some signs of puberty at 10 ½ and the average boy at 11 ½, however, some girls will start to see some changes as young as 8 ½ and some boys as young as age 9.

Useful Websites: 

www.kidshealth.org: General health and sexuality information with separate tabs for Parents, Kids, Teens & Educators

www.plannedparenthood.org: information about sexuality, gender, LGBTQ and sexual health, and talking to kids about these topics

www.advocatesforyouth.org: information about sexuality, gender, LGBTQ and sexual health, and talking to kids about these topics